"Nobody there!"-Kai

Kai reading to himself.

The city area where we shopped.
Just thought the signs were cool.

The women writing up the receipts for our stuff.

Day #2 with Kai. We were able to capture a smile. He is so busy, it can be hard to catch him for pictures!
Kai after his first trip to the pool. He sure loved it. Thought Josh was hilarious!

A view from the street where we were shopping.

“Nobody there!”-Kai (thrust out arm with open hand to the sky in a “Ta-Da” gesture.)

While waiting to apply for Kai’s Visa the other day, Kai got a little antsy. He wanted to go over to the other end of the waiting area and look at a door with an exit sign over it. As we approached the other side and he realized that there wasn’t much to see, I put my arm out and sang, “Nobody’s there!” He immediately repeated me, “Nobody there!” Except add a huge smile with a dimpled check on the right side! All of the families in the waiting room thought this to be very humorous. He has already been assumed as American as he sings out “Hello” and “Bye Bye” and “Thank you” to those we pass, at the appropriate times too! (Are we officially parents to this boy yet? We think he is the most charming and smart kiddo around!)

Yesterday was a really good day. It seemed that Kai opens up more and more each day. I am finding this whole process very interesting as far as how you feel about things and how your mind, or at least my mind, has changed. For example, when I first arrived here, the whole White Swan swarming with adoptive families sort of almost freaked me out. Can you imagine such a thing in a big city in the US? Before we received Kai, I felt that they must all have it so easy, all comfy and cozy in their new families, while Josh and I anxiously waited to see just what our son would be like. Certainly no one else felt so scared?

Now, after having Kai for a few days, I appreciate having other families here so much. It is nice to go down to the White Swan play room and find out where children are from, how they are doing, what different triumphs and challenges have already occurred. It also doesn’t hurt that most families are delighted with Kai. “What a cool little boy.” Were the words of one woman. I find it amazing now, how vulnerable we all chose to be in order to have a child. Some of the kiddos are tiny for their age, have different skin rashes, are not eating, are crying and grieving, love playing with their shoes, enjoy taking walks, are laughing are giving first hugs and kisses, it is just amazing to see.

Today at breakfast I noticed another couple next to our table watching us with Kai. We started talking to them, and they too are in the last phase of waiting, the last couple of days before they get their daughter, in their case a 5 year old. They noticed us using signs with Kai and asked us about them. We taught them a few of the signs. They are such a nice couple. Everyone that we have met and talked to so far has been so nice and kind. We all feel that everyone’s child is beautiful and wonderful.

Kai has the sign for “eat” and “more” down. This kid loves to eat. So, at meals you can see him tapping his palm with his pointer finger for another bite. He can also say, “more please”. Oh, but we did find something he doesn’t like to eat, yogurt. Uncle August, if you are reading this, I thought of you. If I remember right you hate yogurt for a number of reasons…

Anyway, I could see Josh and I in the faces of this couple,their body language, and general interactions. It seems that Josh and I, and Kai have all come very far already. It is almost like different stages of labor, expect both parents share in the contractions before the child comes!

Ok, back to yesterday. We were supposed to do a lot of shopping that day. We went to one mall and bought Kai some new clothes. Judy, our guide sort of laughed at us because we had a list, got that stuff and then, we were ready to go. She asked if we wanted to shop anywhere else and we said “No thanks.” That was the best decision. We were then able to just come home and hang out with Kai. If you think about it, here you are, in China, adopting a child, but also realizing that you are IN CHINA. You want to see and do all that you can, but also, you need to be able to not climb in and out of a van all day long to just BE with each other. So that is just what we did.

I so appreciate this time to just be with Kai before we go home. The rest of the group will meet up with us on Sunday. We will do more sight seeing that day. I look forward to seeing just how all of the families are doing.

"OK, yeah"-Kai

I start today with a quote from Kai. Ok-yeah is what he says a lot. We think that is just him saying ok. It is cute though, sort of Jamaican-ish. It is hard to know where to start today. I feel like I have been all over the map of expected and unexpected emotions. Let's start with an update on Kai.

Oh my, this little boy loves to talk, he is quite loud as well! When we go down to have breakfast at the White Swan there are all of these families with their babies and children. Most of them hardly say one peep. Actually, as I write this, I can say that I have seen other babies and kids cry, but not talk. Then you have Mr. Kai, talking to all of the servers, yelling to babies across the room, laughing, throwing his napkin, grabbing our coffee cups, wanting to eat more and more food. I cannot tell you how many laughs we've gotten. He is very funny, lots and lots of energy. Just thinking about the plane ride home is enough to give me an ulcer! Jenny, you are going to have to tutor me in the ways of boys!

We took him to the pool for the first time yesterday. He was a bit hesitant at first, but after about 10 minutes he was sticking his face in the water and just laughing away. We had to watch his to make sure he didn't drink the water.

Big news too, Josh was the first to receive a kiss, unsolicited too. Josh was holding him and talking to him, when Kai just puckered up his big lips and gave him a kiss. This was so delightful to see. One of the neat things about this adoption for me, has been that Josh and I can equally share the parenting from the start. He loves to be with both of us and will go to either. I got my first kiss this morning. So sweet. Since Kai was taken home with his caretakers often, I wonder if he thinks that this is just an extended stay for him. I am not sure if he knows for sure that he is staying with us for good. It is nice to see him open up more and more to us.

We also know that he knows his manners. Yesterday, Josh went to the deli next door to get some lunch for us and on the way out Kai yelled something to the ladies and they laughed. Josh asked them what he said, "He says "Thanks a lot."" Pretty neat. This brings me to the next point of the adoption, it is very strange and sort of difficult to be a new parent to a toddler who talks a lot to everyone, and they talk back to him, and you have no idea what is being said. And the Chinese people know this. Many of the people have laughed and smiled at what Kai says. Many of the Chinese have laughed at us period. Sometimes this is fine, sometimes you just want to be able to struggle through on your own without such an audience.

We went to that Thai restaurant yesterday to get some good food. This was the end of a long day, we had also gone shopping at a big mall earlier, I'll get back to that later, but I will say now, Mom and Jenny, I missed you so much, I am no match and not well-equipped for all this shopping. Anyway, again, everyone in the restaurant was very quiet, and Kai was wound up and totally overstimulated I think. At many of the restaurants, the servers stand right by your table as you eat, I mean right by you. So Kai kept yelling and talking to them, pounding his highchair, squirming to get out, and the servers would talk to him, laugh, try to hid their smiles behind their hands and stare at us. There was a Chinese family next to us with perfectly behaved kids and I felt like they were saying, "Ah, these American families...they do not know how to handle children." We ended up needing to leave. Josh had them pack everything up and we went back to the hotel to put him to bed.

Last night was the first night of real tears from Kai. It did not last long, but it broke my heart. He cried and screamed and looked at me like, "I am just so tired and can't do this anymore." I just rocked him and told him that is was ok to be sad, that I knew this was so much for him, it was a lot for everyone. Just cry, it is ok. he seemed to get this and somehow each time I said it was ok to cry, he seemed to relax. This was the first time that I felt some of my reading paid off. I read that instead of encouraging them to stop, that you need to hold them and let them grieve and be sad. It broke my heart though.

I was also overstimulated and exhausted. Those of you that know me know that I hate to shop. Judy took us to this mall that is like a Wal-mart, sort of yesterday. It was packed! I mean, like take maybe the day before Thanksgiving, and that is what you have in these malls. Just tons of people everywhere. I am really starting to appreciate the blessing of space that we have in the United States. You can understand the population of China when you go out and try to shop or do anything that is not tourist-y. I know that I should have bought more at this mall, but I just did not have it in me. My eyes were probably like saucers the whole time. I had to laugh though, Judy took me to get this coupon at a service desk and told Josh to wait there with the cart. As we walked back in this throng of people, you could immediately spot Josh. Here, Josh is taller than most of the men and his Caucasian head is easy to spot! I just had to laugh, he was just waiting patiently with all these people milling around him.

I am starting to miss home. It seems crazy that we still have over a week to go. I am anxious to get Kai home and start to get him into a routine there. Although, I am also pretty nervous about the plane ride home! Oh goodness. If only they made tranquillizers for kids! He is so very curious. Seriously, he is like Curious George. Thank you so much to all of you that are emailing us, it helps so much. We are so lucky.

We can only email from Starbucks, so if I do not write back it is just because of time, not because I don't want to. I also just realized that Josh has the camera and is out walking Kai around. We have to take turns doing this as he obviously is not going to sit or play quietly in a Starbucks!

I will post a bunch of pictures tomorrow. Hopefully that will be a day just to do nothing and relax a bit.

I can't read Chinese...

Entrance to Forbidden City...notice Chairman Mao...
The emporer's chair at the Forbidden City
This symbol means double happiness and something to do with love...it is supposed to be good luck in love. Josh and I love that stuff!
Pre-Italian ladies at the wall...
How cool is this? We are actually at the Great Wall of China!

So I cannnot figure out how to go back and put the pictures into the other posts, so this will just be some pictures

"I think I am having some culture shock"-Kate

Well, sure enough, you start patting yourself on the back about what a good traveler you are and how you love the world and then you smack into a large and painful wall, called "culture shock." I have some pictures that I will be sure to post here today. I will try to get through as much as I can to explain all that has happened in the last few days, and I also plan to be honest. (Although I much prefer "Kate the world traveler".)

Ok, so yesterday we had to wait until 2:30 to get Kai. What a long day! When we finally got into the car and headed towards the Civil Affairs Bureau I was already almost sick with anticipation. Good though. I cannot describe driving through the city streets to get there. The streets are the size of our alleys, lined withe open shops, people on bikes and walking around. We were curving and swerving and you could not see the sky for all the high rise apartment buildings that line the streets. When we got there we walked down this alley and all of a sudden 3 nanny's carrying baby girls ran across the street while a group of about 20 couples ran out of the building clutching their babies wide eyed. I didn't realize it was sprinkling and they were running to get out of the rain, it just seemed like this massive baby race.

This stunned me. But then we got on the elevator and headed up to the room to receive Kai. He came toddling out, wearing a brand new outfit and a Colts hat waving hello, huge smile on his face. He immediately came to Josh and I, no crying, no problem, all smiles. When I took off his hat I noticed that his head was sort of misshaped. (Cue the massive panic please.)

I asked about his head. Our guide and his Nanny looked at it and laughed, "Chinese head" they said. I guess this is very common in the Chinese culture period but even more common with children from orphanages. But all of a sudden, just what we were doing hit me very hard and scared the crap out of me. This is our son, he is ours now. We had waited so long, worked so hard, anticipated so much. My brain was on overload. And so, as we drove back home, Kai laughed with Josh, talked away, and did fine. Meanwhile, my face turned bright red and I felt a strong desire to you-know-what. Kai was adorable, happy and very well-adjusted and I was feeling scared.

Anyway, I called my parents and they talked to me. I have the best parents in the world! Josh and I are so fortunate to have the parents we do. Dad suggested that maybe I had seen "more of the real China" and was having culture shock. As I surveyed how I was feeling, I realized he was exactly right.

This morning things are much better. We talked to our coordinator and she also said this is very common. Plus, Kai has been charming the pants off of everyone. To prepare for this trip I read every book I could get my hands on about bonding and adjustment. And this kid seems to have made the transition seamlessly. So much for research! Let me share a bit with you about him.

1. He is quick to giggle and laugh. He has a raspy little voice.

2. He loves to play and already says many English words.

3. When we went into the hotel playroom for the kids he played so sweetly with a little baby boy, so gentle. All the families in there could not believe that we hadn't had him 24 hours yet.

4. He talks to every waitress and person we see. Many people are stopping us on the street to talk to him.

5. He does suck his thumb to fall asleep and makes little slurping noises.

6. He is eating A LOT. I am trying to make sure he doesn't get sick. With my nerves he has out eaten me at every meal so far. He is not picky and likes everything we have given him.

Ok, so why the easy transition? Judy, our guide has shared more with us about his orphange. It is located in Foshan, a very rich city. The orphanage is very small and very well supported by the community and the large industry there. I guess the caretakers and the director are paid very well there, and so theyare happy. The caretakers often take the children home with them for a night. Judy asked Kai if he had been out for an overnight stay before. He has. I guess they get very good care. Since this is such a prominent place, usually only children with special needs are given up for adoption. So, it is very small. Kai has said the name of a child that was adopted two months ago many times. He was seven years old and close to Kai. I guess all of them are very close. Pretty neat.

Well, that is about all I have time for today. We'll post again tomorrow. We are using our computer from the Starbucks here. Pretty nice.

We miss you all so much!

"Oh yes, he is good...big eater"-Judy

For those of you that are keeping track, we get Kai today. Yesterday we flew into Guangzhou and met our new guide, Judy. I felt a bit apprehensive about meeting our new guide. Catherine, our guide in Beijing, was just so amazing and sweet and funny. Could we get that lucky again? I had read blogs where people got sort of annoyed with their guides...

Judy met us at baggage claim. She was a little quiet at first, but then once we got in the car we started talking more. And here is the total highlight and wonderful blessing for me so far...We started asking her questions about Kai. Did she know anything about him? "Oh yes," she said. "I go to that orphanage often. Very good, one of my favorites, small. Nanny's good to the children, not many children." Then we asked how he was doing and she immediately laughed and said, " Oh yes, he is good...big eater." Dad, I couldn't help but think of you. Did God pick the right kid for our family or what? Anyway, then she told us a bit more about the kids there. She said that the children at this orphanage are very energetic and clever. " They have much humor." is also what she said. I felt that her knowing of the orphanage and that she has seen him, just last week as a matter of fact, created such a huge sense of relief for us. I cannot believe our luck that our guide just happens to be the one that visits Kai's orphanage and often works with the staff there. Actually, I do not believe it is luck, I believe this is a direct result of all the prayers you are all saying for us.

We meet Kai in just a few hours as I write this. I felt like I would be super nervous or so excited that I would puke, but right now I feel very calm and it just feels good and right. Josh and I went to workout this morning at the hotel's gym, very nice. I couldn't help but think, before we had Elizabeth I took a nap, (the epidural was taking effect and I felt no pain, natural labor is for the birds!) now before we have Kai, I am working out. I wonder if that will be an indicator of how it will be like to parent them as well? Who knows? Just kind of a funny thought. Ok, one more funny random thought, while we were working out, a few people came in to workout as well. One woman, not American I don't think, was running on the treadmill holding her "chest" shall we say the whole time. I just thought that was sort of interesting. Who needs a sports bra anyway? Ok, again, not at all important, but interesting...

Other neat people that we saw today, an older couple dancing in the middle of this park, a set of little children, from a school I believe, all in uniform, out for their morning walk. I think these kids were about 3 years old, a young man who stopped us on the street to speak with us and practice his English, "Excuse me sir, do you mind if I practice my English with you." He is studying computers and wants to go to the States.

Guangzhou has a population of 15 million people! The drive from the airport to the hotel was eye-opening. For miles and miles all your can see are high rise apartment buildings. It is like nothing either Josh or I have ever seen before, even in Chicago. Our guide said that in 2003 the population was 12 million. She said there are a lot of jobs here and people get paid much more. In the small towns you can get about 80 American dollars a month, in Guangzhou, you can expect to make 800-1,000 per month. And you receive raises after you accumulate experience, in a surrounding town you can work 5 years with no raise.

I am so surprised by how much we love it here. Not that I thought I would NOT like it, but I truly love it. The people are just beautiful, the customer service is amazing no matter where you go, there is so much here that I want to see and learn more about. It makes me want to go and live in another country. If we like China this much, what other places around the world are there also many lessons to learn and people to see? I have never thought of myself as a good traveler at all, but we seem to be doing so well together. Josh and I are a good team.

Last night we went out to eat at a Thai restaurant. It was SOOOOOOO yummy! We are trying to taste new and different things each day. I was actually so proud of myself yesterday, as I had Chinese noodles for breakfast. It sounded good to me, and that is what they eat here for breakfast. Anyway, we really enjoyed dinner last night. When we arrived the place was empty, but then literally the entire place filled with a group of adoptive families. A good 100 people. Everywhere you look there are families with little baby girls. I haven't seen any boys yet. So we will be the special ones. I also haven't seen many older children either.

So, our guide, Judy is going to take us to get a USB cord today as long as Kai is doing ok. Oh, and she also said that when we go visit the orphanage we can take all the kids snacks and some toys if we want, so we are also going to go to a toy market before our visit there. I am so excited to see where Kai has lived all this time. Plus, since the orphanage is really small, I think we will be able to see most of it.

Also, I want to just thank everyone for all the praying for us you have done. I believe without a doubt that your prayers are being felt and that is why we are feeling so good and happy and loving this trip so much. We honestly feel like such a blessed couple. We are hoping that Kai (Lun, Lun) pronounced like loon loon, does ok with meeting us. Getting ready this morning I told Josh I feel like I am going on a first date with someone.

Ok, next time we write we will have more to tell you about our little boy!

We love you guys!

Kate and Josh

ps- Jenny, we got your message, you are the best sister ever! I love you and we'll talk to you soon! Ann and Harry-Sorry we missed you guys too. Sounds like you are having fun. We love you! Mom and Dad, we'll talk to you soon. And our beautiful girl Elizabeth, we are missing you like crazy. We have found many little things that you will like that we will bring home to you sweet pea. I hear you are having a great time. We love you around the world and back. "Your my little, your my little, your my little girl...." Remember how that song goes? I'll sing it to you when we get home! Have tons of fun! We know you are!

"That Italian lady kept pushing me."-Josh

I have to start today's post with a story about Josh at the Great Wall. First of all, I absolutely have no idea how to portray the Great Wall. I wish I had my USB cord to post some pictures, but we have been unlucky with that. I promise we will find a way to get one by the time we get Kai, Oh which reminds me we learned more information about Kai, that is more important, so let me digress from the Josh story for a minute, as good as it is...

We got this little questionnaire from our coordinator yesterday. Here is what we learned about Kai:

His nick name-Lun Lun

He has a small birthmark on his back.

He can use a spoon to eat.

He likes to suck his finger while sleeping. His nanny's tell him not to do this, as they feel the drool gets into his ear to cause an ear infection. So that answered the ear question we had about him, it was an ear infection. This made me sort of sad to think of him trying to self sooth and them not letting him. Hopefully he will like the little stuffed animals and quilt we have for him.

He does not throw temper tantrums for no reason. He is a good boy. When he gets fussy you can hold him for awhile or take him to play outside. (He sounds like an outdoor kid! Yes!)

He is an active boy and can sometimes push other kids to play. We'll see how that goes!

So, that is what we know now. Pretty exciting.

So, back to Josh and the Italian ladies. Well, the fabulous part of the Great Wall, outside of the structure itself, was that it was such a global place. There were people there from all over the world there. Anywhere you turned you could hear, German, French, Italian, etc. The thing about some of these women, they were climbing the wall in skirts and dresses and high heals! Crazy! The wall is very steep and the stairs are pretty high. So, you really have to lunge up to get up some of the stairs. Anyway, when you get to a certain point, you can stop and get certification that you climbed the Great Wall. Of course we stopped for that. You get to chose from a plaque with your name carved in it, or your picture taken on a "hero card". We wanted both so Josh did the picture and I did the plaque. A group of lovely Italian women stopped at the same time as we did. To paint a picture for you, one woman had a big white straw hat with a little battery operated fan somehow installed in the front. She was very tan and was singing a song when we first stopped.
The other woman, the "pushy one" had red hair with a thick blond streak framing the front of her face. They all had pearly eye shadow, lots of eye liner and painted toe nails with dressy high healed sandals. Poor Josh, love him to death, but he isn't the most assertive in a crowd. So, while I held my own with the ladies on the plaque side, once they moved to the picture side, Josh, who was there first, didn't have a chance. They swarmed in and pushed forward. I waited and watched and tried hard not to laugh. Which totally did not work, it was way too funny. Once they had their cards in hand, Josh was able to get his. As we started the climb to the next watch tower, I was still laughing as Josh said, "That Italian Lady pushed me... twice!"

The wall is just breath taking. I wish we would have had more time to climb there. I would have loved to climb all the way to the top.

Last night I woke up at 1 am and couldn't sleep just thinking about Kai and hoping it all goes well. Our coordinator, Catherine, also said that they are told that they are being adopted and probably already know. Tomorrow we leave for Guangzhou. I am looking forward to getting settled in there and then getting Kai (Lun Lun). We so appreciate all emails. I miss everyone a lot and getting email is really nice. Thank you for your continued prayers as well.

Till next time!

I am not calling housekeeping to figure out how to turn the lights on.

Hello from China! First, I need to apologize, I forgot our USB cord, so we'll have to buy one here, until then, no pictures.

The blogging site is also all in Chinese, so hopefully this comes out ok. Having warned you of that, let's chat...

Our trip went beautifully! We made all our flights and the time went by very quickly. Emily and Bob, we were laughing through "Wedding Crashers" for part of our trip thanks to you guys!
Interestingly though, I found that my feet and ankles swelled up about half way through our traveling! You should have seen my toes! They were like fat little sausages. It sort of concerned me. My body isn't used to sitting that long I guess. Josh had me doing toe raises and calf stretches to try and get the blood circulating! No headaches and no puking, no even close to it! I will take fat feet over puking any day! Seriously though, the traveling was a piece of cake. We were amazed at the ease of it all!

So here is now I am going to do this. I want to start each blog with a quote. Today's is about when we first got to the hotel. Which is very swanky! Unbelieveable! Everyone is wearing uniforms. The women are all beautiful, like models, here at the hotel! Anyway, we got to our room last night around 11pm. And we could not figure out how to get the lights to turn on. We would get them on and then about 30 seconds later they would flip off again. We have our pride you know, neither one of us would call to figure out how to use the lights! Josh finally figured it out. What you do is slide your room key into this slot and leave it there, then you have to flick on this master switch and the lights will work. If you take the key out the room thinks you are gone and turns the lights off. Great energy conservation! It took us awhile to figure that out. For while we had to open the door and let the hall lights provide us enough light to see things!

We have an easy day today. We were able to walk around Bejing today. It is just beautiful and I so love it already. I imagined myself entering China with open arms, trying to absorb everything that I can. And that is precisely what I intend to do! We went to a department store that is walking distance from the hotel. 4 women dressed again in an elaborate uniform come out of the doors and make this presentation to the crowd before openning up the doors. Then they line the walkway when you walk in, bow and say something to you and you walk past. The employees also line the escalators, bow and say something to you as you get on. Very formal. They had a person standing at attention in front of every section of the department. When you walk into their section, they will approach you and assist you with anything. Neat! Everything so far has been very clean. We also found the "night life" street. It has a bunch of pubs. Josh and I want to go there one night and get a drink, just to check it out. Of course Josh is looking to try a new beer or two. There was a group of guys sitting out on the street there as we walked by, I didn't hear it, but one of the guys lit a cigarette and said, "Hey, Hot Mama!" to me! HA! Funny! That made me laugh. Josh got a kick out of it.

Today we meet two other couples here and we'll go to Tiananmen Square and the Forbidden City, then on the an Acrobatic Show. I cannot wait. I am feeling really good today. Josh is sleeping now. He woke up early, excited, and had trouble getting back to sleep.

Oh, also, I found my contacts. For the family we've already emailed. YAY! AND to my mom and Dad and all of you that put together the beautiful book for Josh and I, thank you so much! We openned it today. We love you guys so much. We chose to read a page a day!

Ok, I will write more soon!

Kate

Whoops, this ended up down here. But Josh and I also thought we would chose a person or two a day that really caught our attention.

Our favorite person so far today: Man on the roadside fixing a bike. He had like a little station set up there down this one side street. I wanted to take a picture of him, but didn't, I worry that people won't like it. Need to get over that. The bikes here are like this graceful flow of people gliding by. I could sit on a bench and just watch people ride their bikes along. For example, an older man almost got hit by a car, but he just made a swift and smooth swerve, not jerky or annoyed at all... just a slide to the side, a wide arch, and then off again, without bating an eye. The car didn't honk, just slipped past the bike. Really, for a big city, there isn't the craziness that I expected. It is also very quiet I feel like. I don't know, so far, I love it.

"So, do you think you'll throw up when we get to China?"

The conversation each night between Josh and I has been about our trip to China. Does Kai have any idea that we are coming? How will I be able to sit on a flight for 18+ hours? What will we feel like when we step off the plane into China? AND of course, "Will you throw up when we get to China?"

Interestly enough, according to my mom, my dad asked her a version of this same question about me when they were discussing our trip as well. Ah, what a beautiful reputation I have. My answer to this question, "Probably." I am known to be a tad bit neurotic, but what I like to think of, in an endearing way. Like funny Ha, Ha, neurotic, not anal retentive-high strung-tight lipped-get a migraine and start puking uncontrollably- neurotic. Unfortunately, history would claim me as the later category.

I love to day dream of myself as a globally aware, adventure driven, open minded, dive into in type of person. I definitely married a "dive into it" person. In reality, I am more of a "Let's read about it, research it, make a list about it, develop a plan for it, get ready to execute that plan and suddenly maybe start to change my mind and feel like 'What was I thinking in the first place?' Then, I tend to want to sit on it for awhile, just to be sure how I really feel. This is when being married to Josh is great, as he gently will say, "OK, here we go. " And will calmly help me push forward, or at least hold my hair back while I puke.

My last delve into international travel didn't go so well. I did part of my student teaching overseas in Ireland. I was so excited about this endeavor, but rather nervous as well. On the flight over I started seeing the dreaded "floaters", a sure sign of an impending migraine. Sure enough, an impressively massive migraine headache swooped in, and while other passengers blissfully drooled on their mini-airplane pillows, I spent the flight walking back and forth to the closet bathroom, puking into the stainless steel-hole. When I finally got off the plane and found my way to where my host family was supposed to be, it took them awhile to pick me out as Mary, my host mother said, "You were literally green. We kept looking at your picture, looking at you, and trying to figure out if it was indeed you."

I have a history of getting sick as a kid when we traveled other places as well. So, having said this, I am really hoping to overcome this little trend of mine. My plan is the following, (yes I have a plan, of course I have plan!)

1. Try to not make too many plans and really focus on the present moment. (This plan does not count though)

2. Keep a good sense of humor about myself and this trip. I know that this trip is a big deal, but I do want to laugh a lot and go with the flow of things. "Our tickets aren't showing up on the computer? Oh my... won't this make a good story some day!" See, I am practicing!

3. Be kind to myself and try not to kill myself with unrealistic expectations. Sometimes I put myself through boot camp for no apparent reason. So, if I make a mistake I plan to be gentle with myself about it. I tend to research things to death, hoping I won't make any mistakes then. So, I plan to make lots of mistakes and be OK with it!

So, there you go, my three rules for myself for this travel. I'm also including a couple of pictures from this week. One is of the quilt my mom made for Kai. It is a tradition in our family that my mom makes an unique quilt for each of the grandchildren. I cannot wait to wrap Kai up in this lovely quilt.




The next one is a few of Elizabeth playing catch with Josh in our backyard this week. I had to capture this as I am fiercely proud of her. Seeing her dressed up in all her jeweled flip-flops, skirt and tutu while throwing a baseball with such power and force, (you should see this girl throw!), well, I just felt so proud. How wonderful to live in a time where a girl can dress up to her heart's content and still exert athleticism and power. The feminist in me just swelled watching her.

Our schedule in China

Ok guys, here is the rundown of what we will be doing each day:

August 22-Leave Indianapolis for China

Aug. 23-Arrive in Beijing 9:20pm (I am happy about this as we can then just go to bed right away)
Stay at Zhaolong Hotel (3 nights)

Aug. 24-Aug. 25 Tours to see the Great Wall, Summer Palace and Forbidden City. Acrobatic show on Friday afternoon. (Can you even believe that we will actually see all of these places?)

Aug. 26 Morning Beijing to Guangzhou
Stay at the White Swan hotel -12 nights- My goodness! This is a long time to stay somewhere. Hopefully I will make some friends with the hotel staff!

Aug. 27-Monday afternoon: Go to Civil Affairs Bureau to get Kai!

Aug. 28-Complete adoption

Aug. 29-Apply for Child's passport

Aug. 30-Tour or free time

Sept. 3-Visa picture taken for Kai and medical exam

Sept. 4-Obtain passport, free time or tour

Sept. 5-visa application submitted

Sept. 6-Group oath at US Consulate

September 7th- Fly home! Arrive in Indy at 6:05 pm

We can also chose to visit the orphanage, which we will definitely do, but I am not sure what day that will happen. I have a "travel call" with my coordinator this Friday to go over everything. I am hoping that we will meet up with a few families at the end at the White Swan hotel. For now, that's what I know!

Mini-meltdown

The past few days have been a roller coaster of emotions. This week I had a mini-meltdown over paperwork and just the "work" of the adoption. After receiving an email from our agency, I thought that I forgot to send in a form to the CIS. Knowing that anything from the CIS takes a minimum of 6 weeks, I panicked. I called our coordinator and found out that I didn't need it after all, but spent a good amount of time just going over all the forms we need to take to China with us. I feel as if I haven't worked on anything in my life as hard as I have worked on this adoption. It has been a year and a half, and I just felt tired. I cried on the phone to my mom because:

a. I was on the phone and trying to get everything in place all day and was just exhausted. It is the unknown that gets you. I have worked so hard on all of this paperwork and kept such meticulous track of it all, if I miss something, am I just a complete moron, to work so hard and miss something. Thankfully, so far I haven't.
b. There are so many children that need homes and it just doesn't need to be this difficult.
c. There has been so much anticaption and waiting for little Kai. We have wanted to have more children for what seems like so long, I am just ready to meet him.

It felt good to just have a good cry and sort of let it all out. My mom, bless her, said, "Now, you know that things always seem worse at night." Which is absolutely true and of course, it was night-time. This is from my mom, who for YEARS came back to sit on my bed and talk to me over my worries of the day that would keep me up as a child. My mom has more patience than anyone that I know. We are so incredibly lucky to have family and friends that are so wonderful and supportive. My sister and my mom have certainly put in their share of time supporting me on the phone in my joys and my tough times.

As I was talking to my mom, Josh peeked his head in and whispered, "Did your mom just say everything seems worse at night?" Which made me laugh, as Josh always does. Josh has also been just wonderful. I have always wanted to adopt, but the whole thing just seemed so daunting. He was the one who finally said, "You know what, I think we just need to do it." So, here we are! I am not sure I would've taken this on without his full support in the idea.

I haven't been sleeping very much, as my mind keeps me awake. Last night after the family reunion at Uncle John's house, with great food, (yes I did need to eat 6 Rolaids afterwards! Too much good food, not enough stomach space) swimming in the pool, and winning the volleyball tournament (oh yes, Uncle John, if you are reading this, get ready for next year!) I was finally able to sleep well through the night.

Seeing Owen and Kyle and Elizabeth play in the pool and being surrounded by family just totally put my mind at ease. Before, family functions with kiddos sometimes left me sad as I wondered just when or how we would ever have more kids. Now, I know we have a little boy, waiting for us in China. We leave to get him in 16 days, and I am ready.