I start today with a quote from Kai. Ok-yeah is what he says a lot. We think that is just him saying ok. It is cute though, sort of Jamaican-ish. It is hard to know where to start today. I feel like I have been all over the map of expected and unexpected emotions. Let's start with an update on Kai.
Oh my, this little boy loves to talk, he is quite loud as well! When we go down to have breakfast at the White Swan there are all of these families with their babies and children. Most of them hardly say one peep. Actually, as I write this, I can say that I have seen other babies and kids cry, but not talk. Then you have Mr. Kai, talking to all of the servers, yelling to babies across the room, laughing, throwing his napkin, grabbing our coffee cups, wanting to eat more and more food. I cannot tell you how many laughs we've gotten. He is very funny, lots and lots of energy. Just thinking about the plane ride home is enough to give me an ulcer! Jenny, you are going to have to tutor me in the ways of boys!
We took him to the pool for the first time yesterday. He was a bit hesitant at first, but after about 10 minutes he was sticking his face in the water and just laughing away. We had to watch his to make sure he didn't drink the water.
Big news too, Josh was the first to receive a kiss, unsolicited too. Josh was holding him and talking to him, when Kai just puckered up his big lips and gave him a kiss. This was so delightful to see. One of the neat things about this adoption for me, has been that Josh and I can equally share the parenting from the start. He loves to be with both of us and will go to either. I got my first kiss this morning. So sweet. Since Kai was taken home with his caretakers often, I wonder if he thinks that this is just an extended stay for him. I am not sure if he knows for sure that he is staying with us for good. It is nice to see him open up more and more to us.
We also know that he knows his manners. Yesterday, Josh went to the deli next door to get some lunch for us and on the way out Kai yelled something to the ladies and they laughed. Josh asked them what he said, "He says "Thanks a lot."" Pretty neat. This brings me to the next point of the adoption, it is very strange and sort of difficult to be a new parent to a toddler who talks a lot to everyone, and they talk back to him, and you have no idea what is being said. And the Chinese people know this. Many of the people have laughed and smiled at what Kai says. Many of the Chinese have laughed at us period. Sometimes this is fine, sometimes you just want to be able to struggle through on your own without such an audience.
We went to that Thai restaurant yesterday to get some good food. This was the end of a long day, we had also gone shopping at a big mall earlier, I'll get back to that later, but I will say now, Mom and Jenny, I missed you so much, I am no match and not well-equipped for all this shopping. Anyway, again, everyone in the restaurant was very quiet, and Kai was wound up and totally overstimulated I think. At many of the restaurants, the servers stand right by your table as you eat, I mean right by you. So Kai kept yelling and talking to them, pounding his highchair, squirming to get out, and the servers would talk to him, laugh, try to hid their smiles behind their hands and stare at us. There was a Chinese family next to us with perfectly behaved kids and I felt like they were saying, "Ah, these American families...they do not know how to handle children." We ended up needing to leave. Josh had them pack everything up and we went back to the hotel to put him to bed.
Last night was the first night of real tears from Kai. It did not last long, but it broke my heart. He cried and screamed and looked at me like, "I am just so tired and can't do this anymore." I just rocked him and told him that is was ok to be sad, that I knew this was so much for him, it was a lot for everyone. Just cry, it is ok. he seemed to get this and somehow each time I said it was ok to cry, he seemed to relax. This was the first time that I felt some of my reading paid off. I read that instead of encouraging them to stop, that you need to hold them and let them grieve and be sad. It broke my heart though.
I was also overstimulated and exhausted. Those of you that know me know that I hate to shop. Judy took us to this mall that is like a Wal-mart, sort of yesterday. It was packed! I mean, like take maybe the day before Thanksgiving, and that is what you have in these malls. Just tons of people everywhere. I am really starting to appreciate the blessing of space that we have in the United States. You can understand the population of China when you go out and try to shop or do anything that is not tourist-y. I know that I should have bought more at this mall, but I just did not have it in me. My eyes were probably like saucers the whole time. I had to laugh though, Judy took me to get this coupon at a service desk and told Josh to wait there with the cart. As we walked back in this throng of people, you could immediately spot Josh. Here, Josh is taller than most of the men and his Caucasian head is easy to spot! I just had to laugh, he was just waiting patiently with all these people milling around him.
I am starting to miss home. It seems crazy that we still have over a week to go. I am anxious to get Kai home and start to get him into a routine there. Although, I am also pretty nervous about the plane ride home! Oh goodness. If only they made tranquillizers for kids! He is so very curious. Seriously, he is like Curious George. Thank you so much to all of you that are emailing us, it helps so much. We are so lucky.
We can only email from Starbucks, so if I do not write back it is just because of time, not because I don't want to. I also just realized that Josh has the camera and is out walking Kai around. We have to take turns doing this as he obviously is not going to sit or play quietly in a Starbucks!
I will post a bunch of pictures tomorrow. Hopefully that will be a day just to do nothing and relax a bit.
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